Exploring Generation Trauma, Ancestral Healing, and the Power of Witchcraft

I have dedicated many years to honing my spiritual craft. In the early stages of my journey, I began connecting with my ancestors. The loss of my sibling at a young age drove me to seek a connection with my Catholic roots and my family who had passed on. Which is why most of my practice is based my Christian mysticism. 

Unfortunately, like many, I faced abuse from family specifically my grandmother and mother. Witnessing the generational trauma stemming from narcissism and alcoholism in their behavior was profoundly painful. While I held deep empathy for them, I also wrestled with my own anger and a desire for justice to protect myself. I could comprehend the reasons behind their actions, yet could never fathom inflicting such pain on someone I loved as they had done to me. Despite the struggles, there were beautiful moments that I treasure. The history of farming and my Appalachian heritage undoubtedly shaped my ancestry, echoing through my own experiences. I see my grandmother's perspective. Growing up on a farm with many siblings amid the constraints of poverty. In this context, children were seen as vital contributors to the farming operation, they had to be made. Then the uncovered sins of my ancestors and their impact on the land's natives. During outdoor rituals, I make sure to pour out an offering to honor the indigenous roots and the spirits of the land, recognizing that I am a guest in their territory.

Working with ancestors brings a whirlwind of mixed emotions. I quickly learned that adopting a nuanced perspective was essential. It was challenging to hear some of my cousins speak fondly of my grandmother when, behind closed doors, she treated me and my siblings so cruelly. I often felt gaslit, as if I had to battle for my truth to be validated. For years, while making weekly offerings at my ancestor altar, I was consumed by hurt and anger at the thought of my grandmother receiving anything from me. I wore the ring she gave me for years and absolutely love the music box she gifted me when I was a teenager. During our childhood tea parties, we would play it while enjoying our tea.

My grandmother passed away about a decade ago. Two years ago, I performed an elevation ceremony to honor her and other ancestors needing assistance in moving on. I performed the ceremony from the book Honoring Your Ancestors: A Guide to Ancestral Veneration by Mallorie Vaudoise. This decision took months of contemplation. I discussed my grandma's abusive actions with my therapist and had a scrying reading that revealed she was trapped in the in-between due to the harm she inflicted on our family. My emotions were intense—bitterness, indignation, anger, and sadness filled me. I felt she deserved to be there, facing accountability. Yet, I decided to help her cross over, not for her sake, but for my own healing and the well-being of my living family who suffered because of her. I wanted to ensure our freedom from any potential blockages her presence might cause.

Since conducting the ceremony and continuing my healing journey, I've noticed a significant improvement in my communication with family. Most of us can now openly acknowledge the pain she caused, free from fear. The oppressive demand for respect from a controlling matriarch has been lifted, and she holds no more power over us. Part of this change stems from our growth, the impact of the ceremony, and my determination to speak my truth about her harm. There is peace in simply stating it—she was not a kind woman in life. 

Facing the reality that family has caused you pain is difficult. However, I am grateful for the life I lead and the blessings I experience. I recognize my origins while also affirming my autonomy and ability to make my own choices. Though I am woven into existence by my ancestors, I am the sovereign ruler of my life. 

While some ancestors may have inflicted harm and suffering, much like certain living family members, there are also those who offer their unwavering support. They recognize your efforts and are not there to pass judgment. Their only desire is to see you thrive because, quite simply, they love you. This is what I discovered through the efforts of my ancestral practice and by strengthening my connections with my living family. 

With a sense of peace, I can reflect on the past, which encompasses both sadness and happiness. I have chosen to stop wearing my grandmother's ring, symbolizing that the past no longer holds sway over me. I pay homage to my history, tipping my hat to the dead, while forging my own path, evolving into my true self and creating my own realm.

(The information presented on this blog is meant solely for educational purposes. Please consult a professional counselor and therapist in addition to using alternatives healing methods. This blog is authored by Calla Marie Rowan of Contemporary Mystic and Witches in the Kitchen.)